RE consultation.

The RE was great.  He asked how the baby was doing, wanted to see a pic, and then we jumped right into what he wants to do to get us pregnant again.  He did say that he wants me to talk to a high risk OB (peri) first though as we want to know the chances at this happening again (I have found online that it is 1 in 4 at pre-e again, but nothing for HELLP), and what the path forward will be (bed rest?).  After that is done we can go ahead with Metformin and BCP and then an HSG.  Oh, Metformin AFTER I get my liver function tested....which makes me a bit nervous as this HELLP syndrome thing did a number on my liver. 

So the plan?  He said we could go straight to injectables, but I think I would like to try a round of Clomid (100mg for cd3-12) to see if it will work.  I would rather not put my body through the mess of menopause and injectables again (especially since I haven't lost all the weight!  UGH!)...but we will do what is needed.  He did talk a bit my crazy ovaries and that if did end up doing IVF we wouldn't need to spend much (if any) on injectable drugs as I need 1/3 of what a "normal" gal needs.  LOL  He also mentioned that he was a bit nervous when I got pg as there were 2 follies ready with 3 trailing close behind...so hence the 1 round of Clomid.  I am a bit nervous for multiples...I would welcome them with open arms, but some serious changes would have to be made (take leave from work for an undetermined amount of time etc).

So...tomorrow I will be heading in to the clinic to get some blood drawn, then hopefully I will be getting a call soon as to when my appt with the peri's will be...:)

And this time around feels different.  I have a feeling we are not done with kids, but I am a bit more relaxed about it all. 

Tuesday

I don't like you Tuesday.  That is all.

6 month stats! And other news...

Our 3.5 pound preemie is officially on the charts! Trey had his 6 month appointment today, 15lbs 5oz and 27in, 11%-ile for weight and 68%-ile for height. His head is in the 85%-ile. Last appointment (4 months) he was 2%-ile for weight and 3%-ile for height. Long and skinny, just like his sister...:)


I am thinking about asking the RE if I should see a perinatologist (sp?) before we decide to move on with #3.  This is due to the fact that a peri would be able to tell me if it is a good idea if I get pregnant again or not.  I know there are HUGE chances at pre-e/HELLP again and I want to know what a peri thinks...an RE's opinion is great, but they just get me pregnant...

Trey is 6 months old...:)

What has been going on in my world...

1.  I work 40+ hours a week, DH and I switch up at night so no daycare is needed (except for Friday's and drill weekend).  This weekend will mark the 2nd weekend in a row that I have had drill (not to mention my full-time work during the week).  Makes for a nice bank account, but a tired mommy.

2.  Trey has started solids, all homemade, rice cereal, bananas, avocado, sweet potato, and next will probably be green beans...not sure yet.  He is doing great (in my eyes, the 6 month appt Monday will show how well he is REALLY doing).  He doesn't sellp through the night, but we have had a few night that I had to go check on him as he slept a good 7-8 hours.  Of course then he woke up famished.

3.  BF.  Yes, my body failed me, I came to terms with the fact that I don't produce enough (any) and I was fine with it until I noticed women on my expecting club blasting the board with blog entries that are not the nicest to formula feeding moms. 

4.  9/27 - the day I head back to the RE.  Curious to see what he says about everything, curious as to when we could start again.  It will have to wait until after the cruise I have planned with a few girlfriends in December...If I plan it right I could be coming back from the cruise right around the time I would be done with the BCP before down regulation.

5.  I am tired.  I get maybe 4 hours (interrupted) of sleep a night.  I am not sure how long I can do this without going insane. 

6.  Something I realized recently...I don't have many IRL friends anymore...probably because I work so much, but also I think that having a new little one when most of my friends that have kids - theirs aren't babies...hummm...

Breastfeeding.

Yea.  Why a post about this?  Because I get "looks".  I pull out the bottle, get the formula dispenser, and proceed to make a bottle for my (thriving) baby and women stare.  Now either they are staring at my voluptuous figure or they are judging me.  I say it is the latter.  See, I have been through this before, I tried and tried to breastfeed DD.  I could type up this long blog about why I had to stop, but it really isn't worth my time.  I was heartbroken that I couldn't do the most simple thing for my baby....

Fast forward to baby T.  I got everything ready ahead of time as I knew I would have issues with BF.  I had supplements, a pump, nursing bras (nice ones this time!), nursing nightgowns, clothes, storage for the milk, etc.  I pumped (no joke) 10 times a day for a month (hospital grade pump).  The best milk I ever had was about a week after he was born, I pumped a whole ounce from both breasts after feeding him!  I had appointments with lactation consultants, and I could see the sadness in their eyes...I made it a month before my supply was gone (the last week I was pumping an ounce TOTAL a day). You see, PCOS didn't just doesn't affect my fertility, it also affects my ability to feed my children.  Not to mention my issue with weight loss, my insatiable desire for sweets....you get the picture.  So my mammary glands suck. So do my ovaries.     

So...formula it is. 

Remember this the next time you look at a gal that is mixing up that bottle of formula.  Or the next time you comment on a post on FB, or your HUSBAND asks a gal if she is BF (yea, thanks dude...kinda awkward), or post about how formula isn't natural, etc.  I have no other choice.  And you know what?  Circumstances are different for everyone, maybe someone had the choice and could BF, but decided to FF, that is their choice.  So trying to scare me with the known risks associated with FF?  Nope...I am feeding my baby, he is thriving, and even though I would love to BF, I don't feel bad about my body not working correctly (ha, now I don't).  Sometimes things don't go as planned.

3 weeks.

9/27 is the day I go for a consultation at the RE.  So I have 3 weeks to lose some of this disgusting fat...LOL...looking like protein shakes, fruit, fiber, lo-cal frozen meals, and low fat cottage cheese for me!  I have managed to gain back 10 of the 25lbs I had lost...:(

Tuesday is the day

The day that I call my great IF doctor back to make an appointment for a consultation.  We'll see what he says about the preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome, 33 week premie, and trying again!  Thinking he will start me on BCP and Metformin right away and then maybe we can start this crazy road again in a month or so?  I have been putting off talking to DH about this, just nervous as to what he would say.  He was waiting on me...waiting for me to make an appointment.  The doc figured out what works so why not?  Sure we will have a rough couple of years with a few under 2 in the house, but if we don't do it now we won't go for it...:)