Prediabetic

It isn't like I eat horribly...but, pretty sure I am right about this.  Thanks again PCOS.  My appointment can't come fast enough.

Endocrinologist appt and a non-crawling 10 month old...

Finally.  A doctor listened to my concerns!  My fasting blood sugar read high and I am awaiting an appointment with someone that might be able to give me some answers.  Reminds me that I need to find out from my dad who on his side of the family ended up with diabetes at a young age.  I am not obese, but I know there is something funky going on in my body and has been going on for a long time, maybe I can get some straight answers as to how PCOS has affected not just my fertility, but other aspects of my life also. 

T is still not crawling.  He is becoming quite mobile on his back by using his legs to push himself around.  He doesn't roll much anymore, but loves to play in his Jumperoo and in his Bright Starts Activity Station.  I have had many comments on how babies should crawl and that he will have issues later (reading, dexterity, etc) if he doesn't, but I have been doing a lot of reading and found that he just might skip crawling...and that is perfectly fine (as per his pediatrician).  And you know what?  It isn't like I am preventing him from crawling!  I mean, really?  Sometimes I wish people would stop giving parenting advice (assvice) but that might be asking a bit too much...:)

And HALT!

LOL.  Sometimes I make myself laugh and I need one today!  Fellow Navy personnel will (maybe) understand the title. 

So, we were bound and determined to go for #3.  I was 100% positive AF would stay away due to my crazy PCOS, but to my surprise she showed TWICE in a month!  Holy crap.  I was going to call today to schedule my HSG.  But..nope, DH got home and informed me that he will probably be going overseas for a bit (3+ months).  He would leave sometime next month so TTC #3 is on hold and probably won't happen now as I will have to adjust my schedule to allow for daycare.  And 2 (possibly 3) little ones in daycare (plus DD in the summer) would literally bankrupt us. 

I am trying to get to a place where I am ok with this, but after TTC for 12 years it is a hard thing for me to do.  Everyone that suffers from IF has their roadblocks, but dang...our 2nd careers in the military really do throw a wrench in our "plans".  I guess the problem that I have is that I never got that "feeling" that so many other moms have told me about, the feeling that my family is complete.  I hate to feel forced that my family is complete, but I have to remember that we have 2 beautiful miracle children.

Something that I HAVE to remember is that my RE reiterated that we were lucky, not just from having preeclampsia and HELLP (and both the baby and I surviving), but that we had 2 follies ready and 5 more that were so close that he was going to call off the cycle.  I am glad he didn't tell me that then as I would have been a mess as his clinic doesn't "allow" more than a twin pregnancy.

So fellow IF-ers...for now I am signing off.  I don't really want to think about TTC or anything related to it(which reminds me, I need to distance myself from all the mom groups as those women are TTC again and there are quite a few that are pg again).

I will leave you all with a recent pic of Trey. Our HELLP miracle.

Struggle...

So, I haven't been the best blogger in the world.  Eh, whatever. 

I am truly lucky.  Lucky to have the children that I was blessed with, lucky to have a great career (um, 2 of them), lucky to have the best DH a woman could have, and lucky to be alive.  I am truly happy, yet I long for another child.  It is hard to explain to my friends that have never dealt with IF, but how does one know that they are finished having children?  I am not sure that a number can be placed on how many children I would like to have.  DH laughed when I told him that.  I know it will be a struggle for both of us as we work opposite shifts, but a few years of that will benefit our bank account, and will give both of us lots of time with the kids. 

And...I will start Metformin tonight.  And I WILL open the paperwork that arrived in the mail from the RE.  Tonight. 

And it starts again....

So the decision has been made.  The RE's office got a call from me today.  I am waiting on my next AF and then I will call them back (well...I will call them after 35 days of no AF which will be in early January), then I start BCP and schedule an HSG.  Then it is on to Lupron!  For now I can get started back on Metformin. 

I "might" get a good O close to Trey's 1st bday!  Holy crap.  We are trying this again...and not wasting time on Clomid. 

And yes, got the go ahead from all the docs!

Been a bit quiet...

Apologies...if I have many bloggie readers?  LOL

Why, you ask, have I been quiet?  Well, I have been working some serious hours at work (and for the Navy), and the time I spend at home is spent with the kids.  Facebook, blogs, shopping (eeek!) has all taken the backburner. 

Got the results from the high-risk OB (and RE) and all of my bloodwork looks normal (no blood clotting issues and liver function is normal).  So...we got the go ahead for TTC #3.  Upon getting that news we have also been faced with the possibility that DH might get military orders to be away for 3 months to a year.  So TTC might be taking the backburner.  Not sure yet, which sucks something fierce. 

I keep putting off calling the RE back to get on Metformin and BCP, they probably think I am a huge flake, but I hate to start something if we can't finish it.  I have been debating starting slow (Clomid) but I know what will happen (nothing) so I think we might just get back into it with the IVF med routine and TI.

And on that note...AF has been missing for awhile now.  Last one was the beginning of September...no, not pregnant as my body doesn't work like that.  I did test and was (suprisingly) not disappointed.  Been thinking about calling the OB and getting on BCP to try and get this crazy body in some kind of normal state.  Oh, and I am still fat.  Almost 9 months post baby and I have 20lbs to lose...?  Starting the Reboot your Life program tomorrow...after a trip to the grocery store to spend some serious dough on produce.  Then I might do a cleanse also as my system is all kids of messed up.    

High risk...

So, at my appt with my RE I told him I wanted to see a high risk OB to ask questions about pre-e and HELLP happening again.  My appt was yesterday.  The high risk OB was great (the nurse was a bit more informative though), she answered our questions, gave us lots of good info, and we left there feeling great.  1 in 4 chance at pre-e again, and a 5% chance of HELLP if I get pre-e again.  I knew all of that as I have been studying up a bit on it all.  Some blood was drawn to check for blood clotting issues (I had a very bad bleed at 13 weeks with Trey) and those results should come back in a few weeks.  The doc mentioned taking baby aspirin but wasn't sure what I should do since I am allergic to aspirin.  She explained about Trey's placenta not being as healthy as it should have been (clotting issues?  A fluke?  Pre-e and HELLP have no known causes).  She talked a bit about the D&C I had to get placenta out (I just called it the vacuum), and she said there is nothing preventing us trying again.  I mentioned my weight (I am about 25lbs over my "normal" weight) and she said I am within my BMI and weight isn't an issue. 

Funny...she knows my RE.  Small world in the doctor community I guess.  I will be calling the RE to get meds started soon.  I am hoping the Metformin helps out a bit with my weight issues and sugar cravings.  :)  And now I have to get into the TTC mindset again...exciting and scary as my mind keeps going back to the appt with the RE.  Having 2 follies mature was great, but the fact that there were 5 more that were close makes me nervous of overstimulating again.  Guess we'll see what happens.