New diaper cake

Well, here is my 2nd one.  I asked DH how much he would pay for one of these and he said $20.  Bwahahaha!  The diapers cost more than that (+ ribbon, toys, lotion, butt paste, etc).  The baby shower was nice, and of course I left there feeling more of that ache for another child.  No clue that it could get worse but it did. 

I haven't had a good day today.  Some days are like that...depressed about it all, and I am trying so hard to come to terms with the fact that Chloe might be it.  She might be our one miracle.  I have been trying to convince myself that it is ok, but it isn't.  God might not want to bless us again for some reason. I will never understand and I will probably be upset about it for a really long time. 

I have slowly started giving away all the the baby stuff I held onto thinking that I would have gotten pregnant again in the last 3+ years.  I have to move the stroller/car seat combo thing out of the garage.  It is a constant reminder.  I hate to get rid of things like that though because if I do end up pregnant again I probably won't get as much at another baby shower...which is silly because Chloe is so much older than most other kids with younger siblings that we know...

And I am done...