4 more days!

In the home stretch...4 more days until my down regulation appointment.  I had a little hiccup the first day I was to start Lupron (the 14th), we were at Disneyland and I totally forgot that morning was the first day I was supposed to start.  We got back from Disneyland and I took my 20 unit shot, and then took another about 8 hours later (2nd day was on schedule).  I felt like crap on the plane back home the next day...light headed...wondering if it was because of the double dose of Lupron.  Anyway, I am excited to get this going.  Everything should work out ok with dates, but I am a little nervous as DH has a 3-4 day trip that he has to go on right around the time that I would be getting ready for O.  If I have to I will fly to where he is to make sure that this cycle isn't a wash...these cycles are waaaaaay too long to do that...

Those pesky signs

So, I have gotten great at ignoring certain things...pregnant women, babies, strollers, etc (ok, I will admit that I was counting pregnant ladies at Disneyland the other day, but I lost count at 75 and then started ignoring them).

But I absolutely loathe these stupid signs:

Or what about this one:

Uh....duh.  Really?  There has to be a warning?  Hey, don't stop there!  There should be a warning like that all over the place warning those (smart) pregnant ladies that smoking crack (or doing any other drug) will cause birth defects also.

Feeling positive about it all...

So my daughter and I were on a flight to get to a wedding.  We fly standby and ended up getting seats next to a husband and wife (across the aisle).  I noticed the woman was a little on the large side but I didn't look any farther than that.  After we got to cruising altitude she got up to use the restroom and I noticed that she looked about 20 weeks pregnant.  LOL Of course I get seated next to a pregnant lady!  At first I just sat there and sulked.  Then I turned to her husband and asked when they were due, he said "November", I asked "boy or girl?"  He stated "twin girls".  Well, that got me uber curious!  The gal came back from the restroom and I started talking to her.  One of the first things that she said was that they are IVF fraternal twins.  Then I find out she also has PCOS.  We talked a lot on the flight, I bet that the people around us really didn't want to hear about our issues, but I didn't care.  I found someone IRL (in real life) to talk to if only for an hour or two.  We have a lot in common, minus the fact that I have an awesome kid already, but sometimes that happens with PCOS.  Spontaneous ovulation.  I lucked out with DD.  I don't think that people that have never dealt with IF (infertility) can ever understand.  If I had not been on that crazy healthy eating and exercising kick she probably wouldn't be here.  Luck, miracle, call it what you want. 

I know a gal who has 3 year old identical twins that went to the same place as the gal I met on the plane did.  The gal I met on the plane bought the 3 refundable cycles and the 2nd cycle worked and they have 6 totsicles on ice.  DH and I won't do another IVF cycle if the first one doesn't work.  At least not a fresh cycle.  Hopefully we have lots of good follies and get many many great embryos to freeze.  If IVF#1 doesn't work then we will definitely do a frozen cycle...

That renewed my interest in IVF.  So I think it is April or bust!  I will try to keep a positive mind about the 2 (or maybe 3) injectable cycles we have left before we end up going ahead with IVF.  By April we will definitely have the $....want to pay cash...;)

I am so glad that I got up the nerve to say something to that couple.  If I hadn't, I would have sat there the whole flight mad and depressed.  Even though I got up the nerve, it still doesn't change the fact that every time I see a pregnant lady I feel sad.  I know that finally getting pregnant will definitely help with that, but ugh!  It is so frustrating waiting and waiting...stupid long cycles are getting to me.  July 23rd is my down regulation appointment, if all is well I can start stims the next day or 2 afterwards.  The days are dragging by!

OMGoodness

Found this on another blog, yes it is a real book. Bite me. Try infertility beeeatch.

Come on already!

So I have this nice vacation planned...and it is going to get messed up because AF isn't showing her face.  My last BCP was Sunday and nothing yet.  I think I usually get it within 5 days of the last BCP and that is not good considering I will be traveling for a week starting on Friday morning.  Have to get that baseline ultrasound when AF arrives though.  Looks like DH and DD might have to go without me on Friday and I will have to take a later flight IF cd1 is Friday.  If not, then we (or just me) won't be going to Disneyland on Monday...:(  Sucks that it is probably going to mess stuff up this time.  We have cancelled 2 vacations so far this year because of infertility appointments...this will be 3 vacations...depressing.  Well, the positive side to it is that I am saving time off and money...LOL  Gotta save for IVF...;)

Come on already!  Let's get this cycle started!  I have a good feeling this time...good feeling that I might not overstimulate and that I will actually have a chance to get pregnant!

Oops...

So do you ever have one of those days?  One of those days that it probably would have been a good idea to stay in bed?  Yea, today for me.  I volunteered to go into work early (4 hours earlier than normal) and it threw everything off.  I forgot to take my BCP (unless I took it in my sleep), I forgot my lunch, and I am sure there is something else uber important that I forgot to do.  At least I won't be getting home at midnight tonight though.  Have to remember to take that pill!  I only have a few left.

Left a message with the RE's nurse line.  I was curious if they wanted me to come in for a u/s to check and make sure those cysts are gone before I waste another 2 weeks on the minipill and down regulating.  I think I might ask to get that checked every single time as it sucks to waste those 2 weeks!  So, yes...I will call them on Tuesday (Sunday is my last pill) and then I will go in on cd1, 2, or 3 to get that u/s.  Then if all is clear (FX!!!) then I can start cycle #2 on injectables.  Hoping that one of those 3 days is a day that I am actually in town or I am pretty hosed!  I might have to fly at a different time than Doug and Chloe (depending on when all of this is going to start)...ugh...infertility drama...

Infertility blogs

I have found sooo many.  It sucks that so many women suffer from IF and SIF, but I enjoy reading the thoughts of others that are experiencing this.  This gal posted something today that I can completely relate to.  You know what?  I even think that DH has changed because of this mess.  Here is the blog:  http://twwasted.blogspot.com/2010/06/who-is-this-person.html