One lucky gal...

Sometimes I think that people take their spouses for granted.  I think that I have, especially in the years that I we have struggled with infertility.  DH has been there for me, and he has had some struggles of his own on this journey.  I never would have thought we would be where we are now when we got married almost 12 years ago.  We knew from the beginning that it would be rough for us to get pregnant, so we didn't prevent...ever.  Luckily we had both lost a quite a bit of weight and that had to have been the magical time for things to work correctly (yay for our unmedicated DD miracle!!).  I am thankful for DH, thankful that he has stuck by me through this infertility madness that crept into my brain, thankful that he didn't give up on me and our future children, thankful that he is such a great man, thankfull that he is so understanding as this journey could have easily led to divorce.  I think this infertility journey has helped us to communicate more effectively, I feel that when we talk we really listen to each other.    

Should we have done things differently on this journey?  Maybe.  But if we had, I probably wouldn't be who I am now.  I have felt lost and alone so many times over these last 4 years, but knowing I have this outlet, this blog, has changed things for me.  Seeing others struggle, then end up pregnant, and giving birth to beautiful babies has made me feel something I haven't felt in a long time.  HOPE.

And now here I am, one of those that struggled and now I am almost at the finish line.  It has been hard as our loss last year really put things into perspective.  To have something so beautiful taken away so fast is something that can't be explained.  It made this pregnancy not seem real, and made us both think horrible things at each and every appointment.  But now?  Feeling baby Charlie moving around all day every day has me feeling pretty optimistic.  Optimistic for the the rest of this pregnancy and optimistic for the next little infertility miracle we would like to be blessed with.