My appt today went as expected (well, as I expected because I am trying not to get my hopes up!), my lining was "beautiful" as the nurse said...but as for my my ovaries, ugh. The nurse said that we have to be very careful as there are many potential follies...so I am a bit scared. I don't want yet another cancelled cycle. Why can't I be normal??? I am so jealous of normal women. How many other women out there have gone through this? Gosh...3+ years TTC (and 10+ not preventing!) that depresses me. Then I hear people say "at least you have your daughter", yes, I am grateful for her, she was our miracle, but don't make me feel bad because I want another!
Anyway, I saw that there were some follies that had grown, there are 2 on each ovary that measure 10mm. Something that bothered me is that the nurse counted all the small follies, she has to tell the doc about those too, makes me nervous. With PCOS and fertility drugs there is a HUGE chance of overstimulating and then they cancel the cycle...So based on my E2 levels (blood draw) they will call me back later with the plan for the next few days. The nurse guessed my next appt will be on Friday morning for another blood draw and u/s. Neverending it seems like...so...countdown to yet another appointment...
Oh no! Here's hoping your ovaries get your act together. Don't feel like you have to apologise for even one second about wanting another treasure. You have every right to be happy!
ReplyDeletePraying for your ovaries. I hear you about the whole "well at least you have one." I want to smack those people especially when they have 3+ or are pregnant with number 2, 3, or 4.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the Fertile Female by Julia Indichova? There is an awesome paragraph where she talks about wanting a second child but feeling guilty because of all the women who hadn't even had one yet..."getting in line for seconds before everyone had been served." She goes on to say that she woke up every morning with an image of herself, DH and DD all sitting around the dining room table loving one another deeply, but feeling very sad because someone was missing. This imagery really resonated with me. People who aren't in your shoes can't possibly understand. (IV - Dreamin_09)
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies...I appreciate it...;)
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