The pain...

I asked my husband something the other day.  First an explanation, before our 5 year old daughter we were told we would never have kids, then a few years after that we were told a fertility doc might be able to help us (we had to wait to be stationed back in the US as we were stationed in Italy at the time).  So we just gave up.  I didn't associate with people that had kids, I didn't think about kids, I turned away from pregnant women...we thought that if it was supposed to happen then it would.  Well, it did and we couldn't believe it.  We went from 5 years of infertility to 2+ months pregnant.

This time around it has been completely different, I have charted, taken a million opk's, and spent more time at the OB and RE than I would like to admit.  But how do I go from being an infertile to a pregnant lady without feeling guilty or wondering WHY ME?...that was the question I asked DH.  While I was asking I realized that I have helped other women (in real life, message boards, and maybe even through the blog) that have issues like I do (PCOS, no ovulation, etc).  It hurts me to know that so many women out there are dealing with IF, it is just not fair...especially when there are so many that get pregnant and don't even want the babies... 

Before this cycle DH and I had a talk...if we overstimmed again the next step was IVF, if that didn't work and we had frozen embabies we would do one FET.  After that we would be done.  I pray that the beta tomorrow morning proves that we have a viable bean in there at the moment...;)