Infertility...and then pregnancy...

I have lost a follower and I am sure I will lose more.  There are some blogs that I stopped following (or checking up on) as the blogger became pregnant.  It stung.  Then the blog turns into a pregnancy blog, and how the bean is doing, etc.  So, unless they were a close bloggie friend, I stopped visiting their blog.  No hard feelings here.  I have struggled with this for 10+ years and over the last year (since my miscarriage) I have grown so much as a person.  The last baby shower I went to was over 2 years ago, yet this year I changed my tune.  I helped a friend register at Babies R Us (evil place for an infertile), and I went to 2 baby showers and made a cute diaper cake for each one.    

The thing about being pregnant after infertility is that it is hard not to write about the pregnancy.  The fears you feel, the questions about what is normal in pregnancy (I had a pretty healthy healthy pregnancy with DD, then another 5 years of IF, then m/c I experienced last year has me a bit freaked out with this pregnancy).  It is almost like you are still alone in your struggle, you have left your infertile friends but the pregnant ones don't understand what you had to go through to get where you are.  This pregnancy is a HUGE deal to me (not that pregnancy isn't to fertile women) and I feel proud to have finally made it here.    

When speaking of infertility, a lot of people don't understand...sure, I have one child, she is the greatest thing that happened to me.  I struggled to get pregnant with her (so many people I know don't know that and I never broadcasted it), and I have been struggling again for 3+ years to get pregnant again.  So yes, I still consider myself infertile.  I am pregnant (at the moment) but I will suffer through this infertility battle every single time I try to get pregnant.