Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tomorrow tomorrow...I love ya tomorrow...

Yea, not so much.  I am trying not to get my hopes waaaaaay up this time.  Anything could happen, I could turn into a follie farm again and get cancelled, I could grow the perfect amount of follies only to have them never mature, I could have a "perfect" cycle (HA) and end up with a BFN, I could understim (HA again) and get cancelled, ugh....there are so many things that could go wrong.  I sit and think about it all and wonder if I should just go ahead with IVF instead of dealing with all of this. 

I have a MUCH better shot of pregnancy than if I never O...;)  Hoping that this cycle is not another cancelled one like all of them in the last year.  Talk about disappointing...I wish I could O...or how about I think I can O, I think I can O...LOL  On a positive not, I am definitely feeling something going on in there...feeling a little crampy even after taking Tylenol.  Good sign?  We will see tomorrow I guess...;) 

Appointment tomorrow.  Another follie check and E2 levels.  Hoping we see something happening...;)

Oh, here is something that kills me to admit:

I haven't taken a hpt in almost a YEAR. Why, you ask? Well, I had the m/c in September, put on hold for 2 months which turned into 3 as I don't get AF on my own. Another round of Clomid (lower dose because the OB was a moron) and there was no O. On hold for a month waiting for appt with RE, bcp for a month, first clomid cycle (Feb) no follies grew bigger than 8mm, same with 2nd clomid cycle (Mar), first injectables cycle overstimmed - cancelled (Apr/May), next cycle had cysts (June), and now I am currently on one of my last "hail mary" cycles before IVF next April (unless I have to go overseas for the military).

Can I get a freaking O please??? I should be going insane, right? August last year was my last O, no O earlier that year and no clue when I would have O'd before 2009. I doubt I have since I got pg with DD.

I hate my ovaries. Really...that is all that is wrong. My lining is beautiful every.single.time I get a u/s...just them darn ovaries...I flip them off all the time.  They make me so mad.

6 comments:

  1. Ovaries can be so frustrating sometimes! Can't they just cooperate? Hoping that your appointment tomorrow gives you the results in your follies that you are looking for. Also hoping that things just go right for you this time.

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  2. your ovaries can suck it. why can't they just shape up and do their job!!
    Hope all goes well this time around.

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  3. Hope it's good news tomorrow. I have to go get mine checked tomorrow, too. Can't wait - I actually look forward to getting wanded because I just desperately need to know what is going on down there. Good luck!

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  4. LOL...thanks ladies...I am guessing here but I bet there will be a few that are getting close to 10mm, I hope bigger than that but I am doubtful. It is hard not to feel numb as these years spent TTC have drained me...

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  5. Fingers crossed for you....I know what you mean about hating your ovaries. I hate my uterus with a passion. I feel like my ovaries are okay but my stupid uterus wants to bleed and spot and have luteal phase defect. Ugh.

    So are you a military family? I didn't see anything about that in your timeline. Just curious :)

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  6. Robin - Yes, we are both in the military, I have 11 years (8 active and 3 Reserves) and DH has almost 14 (10 active and 3+ Reserves). I will have to put that in the timeline...;) Thanks!

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