Yay. Another appointment.

Stim day 8.  After the increase in dosage a few days ago the nurse and RE were expecting follicles to have grown.  Well, they didn't.  There are a bunch of them, but they are still small.  I wasn't getting my hopes up as I have done that too many times and been super disappointed and left that office crying.  Today?  Nope, no tears were shed.  The nurse was more disappointed than I was.  Funny actually.  Before the IVF consult I probably would've cried at the disappointment that the nurse showed.  Funny how infertility changes you.  Funny how you go from being so hopeful to feeling more hopeless as each appointment looms over your head.

So now I wait.  Waiting on the E2 levels and another possible increase in dosage.  Probably another appointment on Monday... 

Lottery anyone?

So I woke up this morning to take my shots.  How does one hit 2 blood vessels on just 2 shots?  Fabulous!   arrrgh... 

Oh...and is it hot in here or is it the Lupron??? 

Stim day 6 and appointment

I was expecting this.  I am glad I have already been through this many times and know what to expect.  It is still super early so at the appointment the follies were still under 10mm.  I had my E2 levels drawn and drove home. 

I wasn't home too long and my phone rang.  I was shocked to see it was the RE's office, they don't usually call until well after noon.  Well, I got the plan for the next few days.  Take an additional 75iu of Gonal f this morning, and tomorrow morning and then Friday morning also.  Follow the regular plan other than that.  This makes me a bit nervous as I think back to May and overstimming...:(

I had to open another box of Gonal f (booo), mixed it, and then injected the 75iu.  Hoping that these exta doses do the trick and I get some nice follies by my appointment on Friday morning...;)...but no too many...

Oh, and I am an emotional basketcase...probably doesn't help that in every PCOS blog I have been looking at today the gal is pregnant or has a new baby...ugh, it is like going to Babies 'R' Us...

And it is the last day of ICLW...how did the time go so fast?  I will have to remember to sign up again, it was fun to read and comment on other blogs...;)

Tomorrow tomorrow...I love ya tomorrow...

Yea, not so much.  I am trying not to get my hopes waaaaaay up this time.  Anything could happen, I could turn into a follie farm again and get cancelled, I could grow the perfect amount of follies only to have them never mature, I could have a "perfect" cycle (HA) and end up with a BFN, I could understim (HA again) and get cancelled, ugh....there are so many things that could go wrong.  I sit and think about it all and wonder if I should just go ahead with IVF instead of dealing with all of this. 

I have a MUCH better shot of pregnancy than if I never O...;)  Hoping that this cycle is not another cancelled one like all of them in the last year.  Talk about disappointing...I wish I could O...or how about I think I can O, I think I can O...LOL  On a positive not, I am definitely feeling something going on in there...feeling a little crampy even after taking Tylenol.  Good sign?  We will see tomorrow I guess...;) 

Appointment tomorrow.  Another follie check and E2 levels.  Hoping we see something happening...;)

Oh, here is something that kills me to admit:

I haven't taken a hpt in almost a YEAR. Why, you ask? Well, I had the m/c in September, put on hold for 2 months which turned into 3 as I don't get AF on my own. Another round of Clomid (lower dose because the OB was a moron) and there was no O. On hold for a month waiting for appt with RE, bcp for a month, first clomid cycle (Feb) no follies grew bigger than 8mm, same with 2nd clomid cycle (Mar), first injectables cycle overstimmed - cancelled (Apr/May), next cycle had cysts (June), and now I am currently on one of my last "hail mary" cycles before IVF next April (unless I have to go overseas for the military).

Can I get a freaking O please??? I should be going insane, right? August last year was my last O, no O earlier that year and no clue when I would have O'd before 2009. I doubt I have since I got pg with DD.

I hate my ovaries. Really...that is all that is wrong. My lining is beautiful every.single.time I get a u/s...just them darn ovaries...I flip them off all the time.  They make me so mad.

The first of many appointments

Had a monitoring appointment today (E2 levels and u/s).  Lining had the 3 stripe thing they look for, and my ovaries are doing what they do.  There are quite a few small follies already...they will be calling later to tell me how much Gonal f to take tonight.  Then I am guessing another appointment on Wednesday...we'll see.  I will edit this post later when I hear from them, should be any minute now...;)

Got a call back from the nurse, I am to keep taking the 75iu of Gonal f and have another monitoring u/s on Wednesday. 

Stim Day 2

On to day 2.  This morning the 10 units of Lupron were a b.  Ever since my first injectables cycle (with down regulation) I have had problems on the right side of my belly button.  It is like the skin there is more sensitive to pain.  So this morning I had to keep poking around to find a spot that didn't hurt so bad.  The whole deal is probably because I busted a blood vessel that first injectables cycle and had a ugly bruise...

10 units Lupron - check
75iu Gonal f  - check
1500ER Metformin - after bedtime snack
Prenatal - after bedtime snack

Countdown to first monitoring appointment - 2 days...

Down regulation appointment

Nice to meet you Mr. Wandy Cam...it has been awhile.  Well, not really...we just had a date a few weeks ago, didn't we?  I was looking forward to seeing you all week!  Forget all the bloating and nausea from those pesky Lupron injections, that appointment with you was what really matters.

Anyway, it is hard not to laugh at how friendly I have become with the u/s wand...I am sure many of you know what I mean...I am anticipating many more wanding appointments than during any other cycle I have had due to the overstim on Gonal f last time.  So, back to the appointment.  I had one of the nurses that I really like for the bloodwork (E2 levels) and the u/s.  Something I have to mention is that at my fertility clinic the nurses do everything, there is no u/s tech or nurses aid to draw blood.  Last year when I was still with my OB I would get u/s by a tech and they never told me what they saw, I hated that.  I would ask questions and each tech every time would tell me that the OB could answer my questions.  Blah.  Nothing like being clueless!  Then the OB was clueless anyway...

Ok, really...back to the appointment.  My lining looked good (the minipill did it's job) and there were a few small PCOS follies on one of my ovaries but the nurse said it didn't look like anything to worry about.  Honestly, last cycle (May) there were more small ones than there were this time so I am feeling pretty good about it.  After the appintment she gave me the plan for drugs (she asked if I wanted to start tonight...uh, yes!  Definitely!), so now I just have to wait until later when they call with the E2 results and then I can start the 75iu of Gonal f tonight.  Next appointment is Monday morning for bloodwork (E2 levels) and u/s.  At that point the RE will decide if I need to adjust my dosage of Gonal f (after finding out the E2 levels).  I am pretty sure the appointments will be at least every other day from then on.  Last time I didn't go in until I had been on Gonal f for 5 days...wondering if they could tell at that point that I was already hosed?

So, I have to break out the big guns later, I have a stash of Gonal f in my kitchen cabinets.  It makes me smile every time I see it as this time the meds were covered by insurance this time.  Yay!   

Edited to add:  E2 levels came back normal (25.2) so I start tonight!